Who gets the dog? A look at pet custody during a separation

A member of the family

According to the PDSA’s latest Animal Wellbeing Report, over half the UK population share their home with a pet. 28% of UK adults own a dog and 24% own a cat. So, it’s no surprise that when relationships break down, many couples find themselves grappling with the question of who gets to keep the pet or how best to share their beloved four-legged friend.

For many people, their dog or cat isn’t just a pet – they’re a constant companion. The one who’s always thrilled to see you walk through the door, who senses when something’s wrong, and who shadows you from room to room with quiet, unconditional loyalty. It’s no wonder so many say, “They’re not just part of the family – they are the family.”

That bond can feel unbreakable, which is why, when a relationship ends, deciding who keeps the pet can be every bit as emotional and complicated as sorting out finances or child arrangements. It's not just about ownership – it's about love, routine, and what is best for them in the long term.

How the law views pets

While your bonds with your animals are likely to run deep, the law in England and Wales doesn’t yet reflect that emotional connection. Pets are currently treated as “chattels” – personal property, like a sofa or a TV.

Under the Matrimonial Causes Act (1973), pets are classed as personal property. This means legal decisions around them often focus on ownership. But it isn’t always that straightforward.

What if your partner was given a puppy as a surprise gift but in reality, you are the main carer who feeds and walks them. Or maybe you both share those responsibilities equally. These blurred lines are part of what makes pet custody so complex and emotionally sensitive.

While pet custody can involve any animal, it’s often dogs that spark the trickier conversations. Anyone who’s ever owned a cat will know they rarely travel well – just think about the drama of a trip to the vet. Perhaps for that reason, cat custody tends to be more straightforward, with separating couples usually agreeing that they should live with one partner.

Case law: FI v DO

In reality, very few dog custody disputes end up in court, with the vast majority of separating couples coming to an agreement privately. In a key case in 2024, FI v DO, the judge awarded the couple’s dog to the wife, despite the husband being the one who had originally bought it. The decision came down to who had been the primary caregiver – the person who had fed, exercised, and emotionally supported the animal day to day.

This case gave recognition and awareness to the fact that care, not cash, is often the best indicator of a pet’s true home. This judge’s decision recognised the deeper reality that what matters is the relationship between the animal and its humans. However, it is worth noting that the case of FI V Do is that of a first instance Family Court and is not binding on other judges (in the way that a Court of Appeal or Supreme Court case automatically would be). It’s therefore not guaranteed that other judges will follow the FI V Do approach as a precedent. Therefore, while the law still treats pets as property, couples take on a ‘litigation risk’ in court proceedings to see how the court will determine the issue of their pet’s future.

Ask yourself: who would your pet choose?

In your heart of hearts, if your pet could decide where to live, who would they choose? Sometimes, the answer is obvious. In other cases, it’s less clear.

Animals are emotionally intelligent, but they’re also socially flexible. They can form deep bonds with more than one person. That said, the person who walks them, feeds them, and regularly plays with them is often the one they feel most secure with. Still, there are cases where the main caregiver and the person they feel bonded to aren’t the same, which is why honest reflection is key.

What if your dog is a working or assistance dog?

In some situations, decisions are more straightforward. If your dog is an assistance animal, for mobility, sensory support, or mental health needs, or a working dog used in farming or field sports, they will generally stay with the person who needs them to function day to day. Separating them would cause harm or stress to both the dog and the handler.

Practical realities: can you provide what your pet’s needs?

While emotions often run high, you may find you lose sight of the practical considerations. You should carefully consider questions such as these:

● Can you take care of your pet on your own?

● Is your partner better placed to meet their needs?

● Would a joint care arrangement be in the best interests of everyone, including your pet?

Similarly, if you and your partner have cats that are used to exploring outdoors, if one of you moves to a flat with no outside space and they would have to become ‘house cats’, this would be a practical matter that ought to guide the decision.

Be sure to think about the following:

● Future living arrangements - if you plan to rent, your future landlord may not allow you to keep a pet

● Working patterns - do you work long hours or spend time away from home? In this scenario, who would take care of your pet?

● Budget - will your income cover the cost of pet sitters, insurance, food, vet bills, and emergencies?

It’s easy to feel that you should be the one to keep your pet, but it’s important to ask yourself if you can realistically give them what they need. In some cases, you may both want to keep them but discover that one of you simply has the more suitable home, lifestyle, or availability to care for them.

Sharing custody: Is it right for you and your pet?

If your split is amicable and your pet is happy and content with each of you, sharing care can work well. Dogs, especially, are adaptable, especially if they’ve already got used to splitting time between homes since your separation.

But there are important things to agree on up front:

● Will they move between homes?

● How often will they transition? (If you share children, will they follow the same child arrangement schedule?)

● Can they cope with change, or are they better in one consistent space?

You should also make arrangements around:

● costs (insurance, food, vet bills)

● veterinary care (who is the primary contact, who renews flea and worming treatment, vaccinations, etc.)

● holidays (can one of you care for them while the other is away?)

Making these decisions now will help to avoid arguments later.

You can also ask a solicitor to help you draft an agreement that outlines who would be responsible for a pet's care and financial obligations in the event of a separation or divorce. This is known as a Pet-nuptial Agreement.

Emma Ritchie, solicitor at our Winchester office, shares that “the current law takes a harsh approach with pets by treating them as property/chattels. When the court can order that whoever bought the pet should keep it, or for the pet to be sold altogether, it can create a lot of worry for parties where they can’t agree on who the pet should live with after separation. Noticeably, more people are turning to options such as mediation or arbitration to try to resolve this issue outside of court. I also think that parties entering into ‘pet-nups’ during their relationship (either as a standalone document or as part of a nuptial agreement or cohabitation agreement) will find that they can be hugely helpful in removing conflict over who will look after the pet.”

Coming to a welfare-based agreement

Whilst speaking to The Divorce Podcast, the RSPCA’s animal welfare expert, Dr Samantha Gaines, offers insightful advice about dogs in separation. She says:

“What matters most is who can offer the pet the best quality of life. That includes time, money, companionship, routine, and, above all, stability.”

Finding stability for your pet and a workable arrangement is key. In reality, the vast majority of separating couples come to an agreement privately, sometimes with the help of a family mediator.

Mediation is usually quicker, less stressful, and more focused on building a workable plan than formal legal proceedings. Just like you might aim to reach a fair and sustainable financial agreement for the whole family, the same principles apply here. Your plan for your pet needs to be:

● sustainable – not just emotionally, but practically

● realistic – based on your actual living and working situations

● welfare-led – always putting their needs at the centre of decision-making

Dr Gaines went on to raise the difficult truth that, in some cases, neither of you may be in a position to keep your pet. If so, as devastating as it feels, it’s about doing the kindest thing – whether that means rehoming them or asking someone you both trust to care for them long-term.

You can find out more about rehoming your pet on the RSPCA and Dogs Trust guidance pages.

Conclusion

At K J Smith Solicitors, we understand that pets are more than just property. They’re both companions and family members, and the thought of losing them can be just as painful as any other loss during separation.

We can help you find a solution that puts your pet’s welfare first, while also recognising how emotionally complex these decisions can be – whether that means formalising an agreement on the future care of your pet, using mediation to reach a shared solution, or simply getting clarity on your rights.

Most separating couples will find a way forward using a little professional support along the way. If you’d like to find out more about how we can help you, we offer a free 45-minute consultation to discuss your options. When everything else is changing, knowing your pet will be safe, happy, and well cared for can make all the difference.