“At first, I believed our relationship was healthy. My partner earned significantly more than I did and when we moved in together, he asked me to contribute most of my monthly wage towards our shared living expenses. At the time, this seemed appropriate. Later, he encouraged me to leave my job and take care of our home full-time. I saw this as my contribution to our life together. I didn’t realise I’d become entirely financially dependent upon him and that I’d be unable to leave our relationship – which had also become physically abusive...”

 Maria* is one of a growing number of people who have experienced economic abuse – a form of domestic abuse that is often hidden behind everyday decisions about money.

 In this article, we explore how economic abuse can take root in relationships, particularly during times of financial pressure, such as the ongoing cost-of-living crisis.

 We share the personal stories of three survivors to illustrate the different ways this type of abuse can unfold – even after separation. We also look at how to recognise the signs, how to distinguish economic abuse from typical financial hardship, and what practical and legal support is available for those affected.

What is economic abuse?

It’s no surprise that financial stress can be a leading factor in relationship breakdown — but there’s a critical difference between the conflicts that arise when couples face financial hardship and the type of financial control associated with economic abuse.

 Economic abuse is a legally recognised form of Domestic Abuse that restricts a person’s choices and freedoms through one partner taking control over the other’s financial autonomy. This can affect their ability to:

• manage their own finances
• access employment or generate revenue
• make decisions about how they spend or save their money
   

It’s not just an issue that affects one gender or one kind of relationship. Economic abuse can occur in both heterosexual and same-sex relationships and affect both men and women.

It may appear alongside physical violence, or could be the sole form of coercion in an abusive relationship. In many cases, it’s part of a wider pattern of control, designed to isolate, manipulate, or render a partner entirely dependent.

 Like other forms of domestic abuse, economic abuse is often hidden in plain sight. It was formally recognised in the UK under the Domestic Abuse Act 2021, which defines it as:

 “ … behaviour that has a substantial adverse effect on another person’s ability to acquire, use or maintain money or other property, or obtain goods or services.”

 This recognition marks an important step forward, not only in supporting victims and survivors, but in holding perpetrators accountable.

 In some cases, economic abuse may also be prosecuted under existing laws around controlling or coercive behaviour — including instances where the abuse continues or escalates after separation.

How to recognise the signs of economic abuse

This kind of abuse can take many forms, including:

• controlling access to bank accounts
• requiring a partner to justify purchases
• preventing someone from working or studying
• placing debt in a partner’s name without consent (known as ‘debt sabotage’)
• withholding money for essentials like food, rent or children’s clothing
• using financial dependence as a means to control or manipulate

Carl* told us:

 “We’d been married just four months when debt collectors arrived at our home. It was the first I’d heard about any unpaid loan repayments. Sarah* assured me it was a mistake and promised to sort it out. Eight months later, debt collectors returned, this time due to thousands of pounds in unpaid parking fines acquired over several months.

 I repeatedly tried to have open and honest conversations about our finances. I wanted transparency and to make a plan, but Sarah refused to engage. Instead, she began taking out more unaffordable loans behind my back.It became clear that this wasn’t just poor money management. It was a complete lack of financial trust which broke us. The stress and instability this caused ultimately led to our separation.“

 Talking about her abusive relationship, Maria* says:

 "At first, I thought we were a partnership. But soon he would look up every transaction and refuse to give me money to buy the children snacks. He prevented me from working and, any time I questioned it, he’d say I should be grateful to him. By the time I realised what was happening, I had no savings, no job, and no way to leave.”

 Economic abuse can present itself in a variety of ways. In Maria’s case it began subtly. What seemed like concerns about spending and a desire to manage finances together gradually become controlling and coercive. In Carl’s case the onset was sudden and the signs were more obvious.

Post-separation abuse

Even after separation, economic abuse can continue and, in some cases, it can begin or worsen once the relationship has ended. It doesn’t require face-to-face contact. In a world where transferring money or freezing access to shared accounts takes seconds online, former partners can exert control silently and remotely.

 Laura* shares her experience:

 “A year ago, I wouldn’t have said economic abuse was part of my story. I was a stay-at-home mum and I managed our household budget. After my husband left, unexplained letters from the bank arrived for debts my husband had taken out without telling me.

 I then realised I’d been in an abusive relationship. Now, during our legal proceedings, he uses money to try to control me. Despite agreements made through solicitors, he reduces or withholds the monthly maintenance he owes — forcing me into debt just to make ends meet.”

For many survivors, the financial ties that remain – such as joint debts, child maintenance or access to housing – can become mechanisms of ongoing manipulation.

Financial stress versus economic abuse

More people than ever are navigating strained budgets, rising bills and tough spending decisions.

 In the latest Public Opinion and Social Trends Bulletin, the Office of National Statistics asked the public about important issues facing the UK today. It’s no surprise the cost of living was the most commonly reported issue (87%).

 With these unprecedented financial pressures, it’s important to point out that not every disagreement about money is abusive. Many couples experience tension over their finances. Differences in how we were raised, what we value or how comfortable we are with risk can all affect how we handle money in a relationship.

In a healthy relationship, you should be able to:

• have open conversations about budgeting
• prioritise spending together
• make compromises agreed by both of you
• share decision-making on your financial commitments

Economic abuse, on the other hand, uses money as a tool of power and control — perhaps restricting access to finances or benefits, demanding explanations for spending, blocking employment or education, or building up hidden or coerced debts. It can make leaving feel impossible.

 If you're unsure, ask yourself:

• Do I have equal access to and control over money?
• Can I make independent financial decisions?
• Am I free to work, educate myself, or manage my own spending?
• Am I being prevented from leaving my relationship because of money?

How cost-of-living concerns escalate economic abuse

Recent data paints a stark picture of just how widespread the problem is. The charity Surviving Economic Abuse reports that, in the past year alone, one in seven women has experienced economic abuse by a current or former partner.

With everyday essentials becoming increasingly expensive, financial control is easier to mask. Abusive partners may blame their financial monitoring on simply “trying to keep afloat”, using the cost of living as a cover for coercive behaviour.

Research by the domestic abuse charity Women’s Aid showed that, in 2022, 96% of survivors

said abusers were using the crisis itself as a tool of coercive control, justifying further restrictions on access to money or tightening financial dependence.

Nearly three-quarters of women with financial ties to an abuser said the rising cost of living had either stopped them from leaving or made it much harder to flee.

This means, for some, the fear of financial instability may mean staying with an abusive partner for longer, not because the abuse has stopped, but because escaping the relationship feels economically impossible.

 Maria* explains:

 “After I recognised the abuse, it took six years for our relationship to come to an end. I didn’t have access to money, so a charity advised me to visit a solicitor for advice. I wasn’t eligible for Legal Aid due to the value of equity in our jointly-owned home, but my solicitor told me about the tools available to help keep me safe in our own home. We applied for an Occupation Order and a Non-Molestation Order, which gave us the time and space we needed to get further help and start over safely.”

 With limited financial options, no safety net, and rising everyday expenses, leaving an abusive partner can feel out of reach. Non-molestation and Occupation Orders are useful protective measures that can help victims of any form of domestic abuse stay safe.

 In all cases, it’s advisable to contact a family law solicitor, many of whom will offer a free initial consultation, for early advice.

Finding help & support

If you’re worried you may be experiencing economic abuse (or any other form of domestic abuse) or you are concerned about someone else, there is support available:

• If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, call 999.
• 
  Surviving Economic Abuse provides useful resources and advice, including a Surviving Economic Advice Guide
• 
  Money Advice Plus runs the Financial Support Line for Victims of Domestic Abuse alongside Surviving Economic Abuse - Freephone 0808 196 8845
• 
  MoneyHelper offers free advice on benefits, everyday money, family care, home, money troubles, pension and retirement, savings and work – lots of helpful information on their website and a helpline on Freephone 0800 138 7777
• 
  Respect Men’s Helpline helps male victims of domestic abuse on Freephone 0808 801 0327
  Women’s Aid offers help with all aspects of domestic abuse
• 
  Refuge runs the National Domestic Abuse Helpline for women and children on Freephone 0808 2000 247
   

Surviving Economic Abuse also has information about how your bank or building society can help if you are experiencing economic abuse – you can search for your bank / building society to see what support is offered.

 At K J Smith Solicitors, we recognise that financial issues in relationships are complex. For many, financial dependence and insecurity make it incredibly difficult to leave, even when the emotional toll becomes unbearable.

Our role is to help you to understand whether your situation involves abuse and, if so, what legal protections and practical steps are available to you.

 As we’ve seen, economic abuse doesn’t always end when a relationship does. Maria, Laura and Carl’s stories show how the damage can linger, long after separation,whether through withheld maintenance, secret debts, or ongoing financial manipulation.

 We understand how complex and isolating economic abuse can be. We will work with you to identify abuse, secure legal protections and establish safe child arrangements where needed. We are here to help you take your first steps safely, confidently and at your own pace. Whatever stage you’re at, we offer a free 45-minute consultation to explore your options. At KJS we know that, with the right support, financial freedom will be within reach.

 *names changed to protect identities.