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Published: 14th December 2023
Christmas is a time for family, but for newly separated parents this takes on a whole new meaning. For parents who are in the process of separation, Christmas can conjure up feelings of dread, sadness and even guilt as they experience a new family dynamic. From coping with the changes to the family unit to finding new traditions and maintaining the magic, the first Christmas as a single parent can be extremely challenging.
Here, Sofie Corbin, Senior Chartered Legal Executive at K J Smith, offers her tips on how to navigate Christmas as a newly single parent and ways to ensure it goes as smoothly as possible.
Plan ahead
One of the biggest issues for newly separated parents is not planning who will spend Christmas Day with the children in advance. While we understand this can be a tricky conversation, particularly if the separation hasn’t been easy, children thrive on stability and security. It also removes the risk of any last-minute stress, awkward confrontations or difficult situations.
If you are still local, this could mean the children spend Christmas Eve with one parent and go to the other for Christmas Day. However, if you are geographically more spread out, preparing solid arrangements will ensure other preparations are made, so if you are the parent spending Christmas without children you can make alternative plans.
Be child-focused
Christmas is a magical time for children, so don’t lose sight of what’s important during the festive season. The focus should be on making happy memories for your child, not for them to remember an argument between mum and dad.
Divorce doesn’t need to be an awful experience and it’s very possible to still be a family, albeit in a different dynamic. During separation, it can be easy to lose sight of how children may be feeling in the process, so encouraging communication and the opportunity to be open and honest, particularly during the Christmas period, is vital.
Move away from tradition
Christmas Day is just another day and younger children in particular won’t understand when it is supposed to be celebrated, so there’s no reason why you can’t plan a separate celebration if you’re not the one spending it with your children. For older children, it’s a chance to pick new traditions, perhaps this is steering away from the ‘typical’ turkey dinner or going away for the festive break.
Alternatively, why not make an alternative plan if you’re the parent without the children over Christmas? Whether that’s joining a friend's Christmas celebration or taking a well-deserved break at home after the chaos of the festive build-up.
Don’t take it personally
Children, particularly older children, may have a preference on who they spend Christmas with. It really isn’t a case of picking between parents, and it’s worth remembering if they don’t choose to spend it with you, it’s not a reflection on you. Teenagers may prefer one Christmas arrangement over another for many reasons, from preferring to stay in their usual bedroom to wanting to hang out with their favourite cousins.
If you’re in the process of a separation and would like to receive practical advice from Sofie and her team, contact us here for a free 45-minute consultation.
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